June 19th, 2019

I've been warned that jokes can come true

People have warned me. Many times. They warn me that my proclivity for telling jokes will somehow set me up for the jokes coming true. Countless times I've been cautioned: "Oh no, Maugie. Don't *even* joke about *that*."

And my answer is to say "Okay, I'll just tell jokes where the punchline is me getting paid a million dollars."

Well, who knew that they were right? Ok, I didn't get paid a million dollars today, as hilarious as that would have been. But what *did* happen was...

Okay, so just about a week and a half ago, I was joking around with one of my VARF audiences while I was tuning and told the story about my "uncle". He was an accordion player and had a weird thing happen when he was sent on a union gig in Baltimore. They called him up and gave him an address and a time, so off he went. He arrived there and it was a really sketchy looking part of town. Worrying that something might be amiss, he left his accordion locked in his car and went to check out the venue more closely. The address was correct and everything, but the building was abandoned, windows broken, trash everywhere; all that awful inner city blight kind of stuff. This was NOT the real gig address or something else was definitely wrong. So he figured he'd find a payphone and call his union contact and see what was up. But when he got back to his car, he found out that he'd been set up! His window was smashed and when he looked inside he saw...
...that someone had left him another accordion! (rimshot!)


I was at Atomic Music buying some supplies and replacing a broken mic. On my way out, the owner himself was talking with a guy who was showing him an accordion. The owner shook it and there was obviously stuff broken off inside. "I can't sell a broken instrument," he said, "so I'm gonna have to decline."
"You can't have it fixed?" said the seller.
"I wouldn't know the first thing to do for this" said the owner.

So I spoke up. I had to fix exactly this on a bandmate's accordion and then the one I got from Sonya's mom. An accordionist showed me how to open it up and what was going on. I proceeded to explain how the reeds are mounted on these little wooden square frames and that you could just glue them back in...

"So- do you want it?" the seller asked.
"I'm already on a razor budget this week and I have an accordion." I said.
"No, I mean, I'll give it to you."
"Yeah. It belonged to a relative. No one else in the family plays. There's too much stuff we're dealing with already. We're just looking to get rid of it. Take it. Fix it. Sell it yourself"
"Um... okay..."

I tried to protest, but he insisted.

So I made a joke about someone guerrilla gifting an accordion, and tada! someone does just that- to me. I've told the joke a few times these past couple of weeks. I think I even told it in Old Town last Saturday as well. And now I have a second accordion. Jokes are powerful. Who knew?

I wonder if I might be able to sell or trade it for that cute Hohner student model I've always wanted.

Also, I need to tell more jokes about getting paid a million dollars.