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If you want to survive when you're out on an adventure on your motor scooter on a gorgeous summer night, remember these
FOUR VITAL SURVIVAL TIPS:

1) Wear Your Helmet. Always wear your helmet.

2) If your backpack is heavy because you've loaded it up with: a laptop (and power supply), a notebook, that heavy chain you lock up the scooter with, and those two "Cards Against Humanity" supplements you found at Target, it's gonna be heavy. so put the straps on well and securely so it doesn't fly around on sudden turns or other motions. Unsecured extra weight can and will affect your balance.

3) If you luck out at Guitar Center and get that suitcase guitar stand you've been wanting for a very long time ON SALE with an extra 25% off for being a floor model, securing it to the back of the scooter will be serious business. Use ALL those bungee cords you also bought at Target, and secure it redundantly on many vectors. Then ride carefully at first and get a feel for how this big winglike thing affects your aerodynamics.

4) MOST IMPORTANTLY, as you ride through downtown Silver Spring late at night, you will look a little silly to carfulls of big scary gangster looking fellows in SUVs. If one such SUV pulls up to you and the guys hoot and holler at you, smile and laugh along. They're just having some fun. If one of them says "Hey, take that action to the sidewalk, bro", it's perfectly fine to say "But my ass won't fit on the sidewalk." and if another one says "That thing don't LOOK street legal", it's okay to ask "Does that make me an 'Outlaw Biker'?" But if one of them then says "Yeah, 'cause that thing's slower than a motherfucker!"
DO _NOT_ COCKILY SAY BACK:
"Yeah, I know. 'Cause I'm riding it home from fucking YOUR MAMA!"
You will likely not survive a guy who looks as big as a bulldozer getting out of an SUV on a gorgeous summer night and pounding you into the pavement WITH your motor scooter.

That is all. Return to your duties, and be safe out there.

Performance Calendar

This is my performance calendar
(or best guess)
as of: 09/15/09
S 9/19/09 Constellation Books 6-9pmReisterstown MD
T 9/22/09 New Deal Cafe 7-9pm Greenbelt MD
S-Su 9/26-27/09 Green Hill Medieval Faire and Highland Games Salem VA
S 10/03/09Mother Earth Harvest Festival Spoutwood Farm, Glen Rock PA
S 10/24/09Esoterica 8-10pm Leesburg VA
T 10/27/09New Deal Cafe 7-9pm Greenbelt MD
S 10/31/09 Constellation Books 3pm-? Reisterstown MD
F-Su 11/27-29/09Darkover Timonium MD (tentative)
S 1/9/10 12th Night Feast at St Margaret's 3-10pmParkville MD


Here are some links for venues past,
present, & future:

newdealcafe.com
constellationbooks.com
www.esotericaofleesburg.org
www.madamsorgan.com
www.fairiefestival.net
(this is for the Spoutwood Farm Fairie Fest & for the Mother Earth Harvest Fest)
www.balticon.org
Va Renfest (www.varf.org)
www.marylandfaeriefestival.org
www.pennsicwar.org
Darkover Grand Council(www.darkovercon.org)
www.medievalfantasiesco.com
This is for Stone Tower Glen, Gloucester, Foamhenge, & Green Hill Faires.
www.2008.philcon.org
Swamp Thynge
Greenbelt Farmers' Market
NY Faerie Fest
www.potbelly.com

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