maugorn (maugorn) wrote,

  • Music:

Talking back to the dead

I had this dream this morning where a deceased friend came to visit. It didn't go well.

I say friend because that's what we were most of the time, but we were prone to these occasional sometimes epic falling outs. We'd been through ups and downs and on occasion, totally been There for one another when we really needed it. But.. there were these other times. My friend could be unbelievably irrationally bitchy and controlling and I have this temper that flares up when I'm feeling too put upon.

During one of those down times, was when they passed away.

One of my Regrets has been that I never got to properly patch things up, and sometimes wish for that opportunity.

And after this dream I'm ready to let this wish go

So, in this dream. I got my wish. My friend showed up. At first I was elated, but then they started doing these cruel, unbelievably mean things (which are vague because; dream). When I called them on it, I was told that they had taken it upon themselves to punish me not only for every little slight and transgression real or imagined, but also for stuff that never involved or even remotely affected them. In other words, typical bully excuses. And in the dream I was now confronted by all of my memories of just how much of a bully my friend could be to people including those who cared deeply about them- like me. I truly and sincerely never stopped loving my friend even when they were monstrous to me. Some might applaud me never ceasing to see the good I knew was there, others might call it Stockholm Syndrome. It depends on whom you ask. Still.

But in my dream I'd finally had enough.
I said to my dead friend: "That's it! I'm done mourning you now. I used to wish for a reconciliation, but now I'm content to let go of you and your memory. So...GO!"

In my dream, I had also inherited something from them that I laughingly called the "Secret Supervillain Base". It was a house or something. And I was in the process of cleaning it up and making it functional again. There was a big mess, as my friend was more than a bit of a hoarder. Not that I can criticise that. Anyway, by the time I was beginning to wake up, I had concocted a plan to strip out anything useful I could find and blow the place up, taking video of that, and setting it to the Travelling Wilbury's song "Congratulations".

Then I woke up.

In hindsight, I remembered that today is called
The Feast Of The Epiphany
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